“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”—Louise Erdrich (via lexxdigs)
“To love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you’ve held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.”—Ellen Bass, The Thing is… (via lexxdigs)
As the year grows new and the days fly by. I can only stop to think what happened while i’m alive? Is there peace all around, are there voices heard.. Is everything something, or have they just stayed words. Although nothing has changed and everything’s growing.. I see there is one change, and that’s not being lonely. I started this year with my best friend’s side and its comforting and normal and makes me alive. I want to hold it to have it stay.. But if i don’t let go , it’ll go away. I have to remind myself, we’re all human in this world.. We cant say and play like tiny little girls. Just remind myself why she’s there to stay.. Not because you like it.. Theres just no other way. Filling that hole that once was empty, lapping up all the words like its memory. Its this energy i need to keep me strong, its the energy that can substitute my favorite song. This year started out right with a support held tight, and now finally, hopefully, i’ll sleep well at night.
“Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”—“The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams (via julie911)